In some areas of my life, yes I’m sure I still do. Allowing my faith to be bigger than my fears, is still very much a work in progress of dying to those irrational fears and trusting in God’s reasons and providence.
Recently one of my greatest fears I’ve had to overcome has been starting this blog to write stories about my inner life. Primarily because my encounters with Christ’s one, holy and apostolic church, and with the three persons of the Holy Trinity, are all treasures in my heart. Throughout the years each encounter has uniquely brought me so much healing, love, joy, comfort and inner peace.
Unfortunately due to past woundings this led to an irrational fear that if I shared my stories with you about these precious experiences and memories, they would be taken away from me and somehow be tainted, dismissed, discredited, or worse corrupted by another human being. And if that person happened to be someone important to me whether it was done intentionally or inadvertently, I was afraid I could not bare the painful consequences.
As this unrealistic fear began to surface I remember thinking, when did I start caring more about what another human being, including my own family, thought about me and my personal experiences over what God thought? When did I start "loving the praise of men more than the praise of God." (John 12:43). I was reminded again in Scripture "... God is greater than man." (Job 33:12) and “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust man.” (Psalm 118:27)
By the sheer grace of God, these irrational fears really began to crumble and lose their stronghold over me, during the Lenten season of 2020. While the world was falling apart that year with Covid-19, the Holy Spirit led me down another path on one of the most healing journeys of my life.
Part of that journey was reading Wendy Speake's book The 40-Day Sugar Fast. In one of my favorite chapters, the author says "Those who have experienced the bondage-breaking power of God are called to share the source of such power with those still held captive..."
Wendy also says in her book, "Christ has set you free, which sets you free to share Him! If you have friends and family members, neighbors, and work colleagues who are still held captive by addiction and unbelief, you have at least one clear calling in your life today: share your faith by sharing your transformed life with them. Share your faith out loud, right where you are today."
That’s when the seeds of faith began to germinate from within my hardened heart. I found myself being less fearful about asking the Holy Spirit to show me what areas in my life were still broken by bondage? What areas did I still need to integrate with God? What areas in my life was I still using buffers to fill my God holes? What areas still needed to be transformed?
As I became more aware of the answers to those specific questions, I also become more and more convicted to share my precious encounters with Jesus' Church and the Holy Trinity.
Wendy also reminded me that when Jesus ascended into heaven, He commissioned all believers to go and tell the world about Him.
God has good works for me to do and good news for me to proclaim. My job is not to sweat the small stuff but to trust. God has an assignment for me to do. He has commissioned me to simply share stories of our encounters together. He showed me how these had been gifts to share not treasures to keep hidden. Due to fear, I had become like the man with one talent (Matthew 25:18), now it was time to share and let the Holy Spirit multiply what God had gifted me.
For me, this was definitely an act of letting my faith be bigger than my fear.
If this is true for me, then it’s certainly true for you too! If there are any areas in your life where you overcame fear with faith then I ask you, please don’t keep those experiences to yourself! These are grace-filled gifts that have been given to each of us to be shared with others.
You never know when your courageous story could be exactly what the Holy Spirit needs to heal someone else who is struggling!
So I ask you now dear reader, what fears do you still need to heal and redeem? Where is your faith greater than your fear?
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I pray you found what you were needing today. Please leave a comment below, I would love to hear how this post might have been helpful for you.
Remember you are not alone! No matter what you’ve done or failed to do you are still loved unconditionally by a very merciful and just Lord and Savior!
May God Bless You,
Leslie
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