This past Advent I’ve really enjoyed spending the season preparing for Christmas with one of my favorite saints. There were several daily readings where I got such consolation and insight into what God was doing in my life right now. And they all came through different stories about this Saint. These moments of joy-filled encounters with the Holy Spirit through this saint kept bringing back a conversation I had this past year with a dear woman.
During this conversation, we were discussing in particular her conversion from being an atheist to a now-proclaimed agnostic. Which was a big step forward for her. For sure. However, during that conversation, she made two statements that have been coming back to me throughout this Advent season.
While discussing with her how God was working in her life, the first statement she made was she could see how something bigger than her was watching over her, but she had no desire to be affiliated with any churches or institutions right now in her life. Primarily I think it was because she didn’t want any hypocritical people telling her what she should or shouldn’t be doing. I think considering where she was in her transformation that statement was “fair enough”. I too remember from personal experience not wanting to be controlled by a bunch of hypocrites who thought their church and rules were the right and only way.
Today, I look back and see how those thoughts really came from a place of fear, ignorance, and pride on my part. For one there are zero perfect people whether that be in a church or institution or society. Since we all fall short, no better place to grow and become healed than in a community of like-minded people. I also had to come to the realization that the process of converting to Christianity doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, education, awareness, and actual life experiences with God, self, and others.
I learned over time that this conversion from agnostic to Christianity is one that can never be done alone. We human beings were created for communion not to live and grow in isolation. God knows that better than we do. So it makes total sense as to why He had to send His only son, the second person of the Trinity, to come to earth to complete what His chosen people imperfectly started and could never finish. Before ascending to the right hand of the Father of course he established ONE, holy, catholic, and apostolic church. This was the only way for all His present and future generations of disciples could grow and develop in objective Truth.
In time I pray God will continue to place the right people, situations, and circumstances in this dear woman’s path to help her take the next right step forward.
Back to the conversation, it was this dear woman’s second statement that concerned me the most. Unfortunately, it’s one I’ve heard too many times from ignorant people. She adamantly stated she did not believe in "saints or anything supernatural, nor would she ever". It was the tone she used that really stood out to me. One of obstinacy and pride.
I felt bad for her because one of the most profound impacts on my faith journey has been the stories told about beautiful mystical encounters these people from the past have had with the supernatural world. It was through their life experiences that I have grown to better understand my faith, how the Catholic Masses play such a vital role in our salvation, how the Eucharist is food for our souls, and most importantly how to have an intimate relationship with our triune God.
I remember a time when I struggled with what an intimate relationship with God was even supposed to look like. Why? Because if I was already stuck at maintaining close relationships with my family and friends in my current life, how in the world was I supposed to have one with God? Honestly, if it hadn’t been for the biographies and testimonies left behind for us to read. The stories of how different saints showed up and overcame struggles while here on earth, I would be SO lost today.
Of course, God has brought devout people, priests, and nuns into my life, who have each helped me to grow in my faith. However, these people are still on this side of Heaven which means they have not overcome their own sinful faults, failings, and trials. There’s no guarantee they are going to Heaven to be with God for all eternity. It would be foolish to assume just because they’ve been baptized and are subjectively ‘good’ people that their lives and examples are trustworthy.
That being said, having the biographies and testimonies of devout people who have had their earthly lives evaluated through a beatification process, which means they lived in a manner that was in alignment with the teachings of the Scriptures and the Magisterium of Jesus’s Church, offers me more reliability and trustworthiness to follow their examples. These saintly people who were from all walks of life have been incredibly instrumental in my own growth as a Christian in the Catholic Church. They’ve shown me a better understanding of who God is; how He lives outside of time; what He expects from us during our time here on earth; what Eternal life could actually look like; how to use our free will in alignment with God’s will; and so so much more.
I pray down the road this dear woman’s heart will soften and she will be able to be more open-minded in learning more about our Creator from the creatures that once lived on this side of Heaven and all the beings that now live closest to Him in Heaven for all eternity.
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I pray you found what you were needing today. Please leave a comment below, I would love to hear how this post might have been helpful for you.
Remember you are not alone! No matter what you’ve done or failed to do you are still loved unconditionally by a very merciful and just Lord and Savior!
May God Bless You,
Leslie
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